At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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