TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
