a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
