Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
