Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize