not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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