omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
