There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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