There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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