Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize