No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
