I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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