Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
