the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize