my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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