So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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