I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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