so that wasnt chicken after all
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
