I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
