Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
