He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
