Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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