Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
