Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
