Already got asked if we're dating
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
