He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize