I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
