Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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