She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize