Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
