like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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