is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
