Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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