don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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