Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
