i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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