i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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