Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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