Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize