So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
