i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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