im drinking this country out of the recession.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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