they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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