I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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