____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
