i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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