yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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