woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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