Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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