Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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