that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
