: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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