Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
