Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
