the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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