Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
this just has baby written all over it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
