so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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